Wilhelm Nero Pilate Barbellion
A (Very) Disappointed Man (The Bus 3.14)
Welcome aboard The Bus!
The Stop
Wilhelm Nero Pilate Barbellion was the pseudonym of Bruce Frederick Cummings, an English naturalist and author of The Journal of a Disappointed Man (1919). Consisting of extracts from diaries he’d kept between 1903 and 1917, the book was published a few months before his death at 30. Not only did it reveal a ‘vivid insight’ into his love of zoology and music, it also expressed his profound sense of failure resulting from the ‘thwarted ambitions of a sensitive yet objectively minded man.’ He chose the names Wilhelm, Nero and Pilate as he considered them three of the ‘most wretched’ men to have ever lived.1
Born in Barnstaple, Devon in 1889, Cummings was a ‘natural-born naturalist’ who spent his childhood roaming the countryside around his family home. He carefully recorded his observations of nature, and no animal was too insignificant for his attention. He began his journal - when he was 13 - with a typically matter-of-fact statement: ‘Am writing an essay on the life history of insects and have abandoned the idea of writing on ‘How Cats Spend their Time.’ As a young teenager, he was especially interested in birds and catalogued their nests and eggs during the breeding season - a pastime he considered nothing less than a ‘sheer delight.’ Soon afterwards, he fell in love with dissections and would awake at 6 o’clock each morning to continue work on his latest specimen.
Sickly and shy throughout his youth, Cummings was discouraged from pursuing his interest in nature and instead followed his father into journalism, a decision he compared to ‘sign[ing] my death warrant.’ Nevertheless, he never abandoned his childhood love of nature and years of amateur studies led him to eventually being able to quit journalism to obtain a post at the British Museum of Natural History where he mostly studied invertebrates.
In November 1915, the 26-year-old Cummings was called to enlist in the British Army. Visiting his doctor before appearing for the army’s medical exam, he was given a sealed, confidential letter with the instruction to give it to the medical officer. He had no idea what was in the letter, but he didn’t need to hand it over as he was deemed unfit for active duty after a brief examination. Crushed by what he considered a failure, Cummings opened the letter on his way back home and learned he had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis - and that he had less than five years to live.
From this point, his interest in natural history was replaced with a desire to document the ‘emotional turmoil’ of being trapped inside his failing body: ‘I am over 6 feet high and as thin as a skeleton; every bone in my body, even the neck vertebras, creak at odd intervals when I move. Even as I sit and write, millions of bacteria are gnawing away my precious spinal cord, and if you put your ear to my back the sound of the gnawing I dare say could be heard.’ Cummings described his journal as a ‘self-portrait in the nude,’ filling it with it with clear-eyed observations of his physical decline while developing a unique philosophy based upon a profound sense of personal resignation.
The journal was published in March 1919 - pseudonymously to protect the identify of friends and family - to widespread acclaim and strong sales. An agnostic, he refused to believe in ‘fanciful notions of an afterlife,’ instead choosing to find ‘solace in science’ despite having realised his scientific curiosity came at a cost: ‘under the lens of objective analysis, even the greatest wonders of nature seem to lose some of their beauty …. the sunset becomes waves of light impinging on atmospheric dust; the most beautiful pearl, the encysted itch of a mollusc.’ For Cummings, who died in Gerrards Cross, Buckinghamshire in October 1919, the greatest disappointment was the realisation that ‘we can have beauty or knowledge, but not both.’
The Detour
Today’s Detour is to the official video (3:40) of Yusuf/Cat Stevens’s ‘Father and Son’. It’s a great song, but I’m not sure this video does it justice. Nevertheless, the early 70s aesthetic (and the most exaggerated old v. young generation as portrayed by the title characters I’ve ever seen - seriously, check out the wrinkles and the pipe v. the hair and the boots) is worth a watch.
Father and Son (Yusuf/Cat Stevens)
The Recommendation
Today’s Recommendation is Dara McAnulty’s Diary of a Young Naturalist (2020). Chronicling the year (spring to spring) he turned 15, the book is a profoundly intimate exploration of the natural world as seen through the eyes of a uniquely gifted adolescent. Diagnosed with autism and Aspergers as a child,2 McAnulty was encouraged to write the book after his blog gained attention. He describes himself as having 'the heart of a naturalist, the head of a would-be scientist, and bones of someone who is already wearied by the apathy and destruction wielded against the natural world.'
From the inside flap: Diary of a Young Naturalist chronicles the turning of Dara McAnulty’s world, from spring to summer, autumn to winter, on his home patch, at school, in the wild and in his head. Evocative, raw and beautifully written, this very special book vividly explores the natural world from the perspective of an autistic teenager juggling homework, exams and friendships alongside his life as a conservationist and environmental activist. With a sense of awe and wonder, Dara describes in meticulous detail encounters in his garden and the wild, with blackbirds, whooper swans, red kites, hen harriers, frogs, dandelions, skylarks, bats, cuckoo flowers, Irish hares and many more species. The power and warmth of his words also draw an affectionate and moving portrait of a close-knit family making their way in the world.
A very positive review from The Guardian can be found here: Diary of a Young Naturalist (The Guardian).
Remember: you can always buy Diary of a Young Naturalist from Amazon, but you could also find it in a new or used bookstore - or even in the library. And those options are better for everyone.
The Sounds
Today’s playlist is composed of five tracks connected - somewhat tenuously - to today’s Stop: ‘Sweet Lullaby’ (Deep Forest, 1992), ‘Nature Boy’ (Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, 2004), ‘I Need a Forest Fire’ (James Blake, ft. Bon Iver, 2016), ‘Natural Blues’ (Moby, 1999) and ‘Into the Mystic’ (Van Morrison, 1970).3 Enjoy!
The Thought
Today’s Thought is from Bruce Cummings in The Journal of A Disappointed Man:
‘In the enfranchised mind of the scientific naturalist, the usual feelings of repugnance simply do not exist. Curiosity conquers prejudice.’
If you have a thought on this Thought - or any part of today’s issue - please leave a comment below:
And that’s the end of this Stop - I hope you enjoyed the diversion!
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Until the next Stop …
To be specific: Wilhelm was Wilhelm II, the last German Emperor and King of Prussia; Nero was the infamous fifth Roman Emperor known for persecuting Christians and allowing Rome to burn; and Pilate was Pontius Pilate - best known for presiding over the trial of Jesus (though there’s a bit more to him than just that). For more information, see: Wilhelm II (Britannica), Nero (Britannica) and Pilate (Britannica). I’d never heard of Cummings until a few weeks ago when I read a reference in an article to his journal. He immediately struck me as someone I ought to know about and upon a bit of research, I decided he’s someone many more should know about. Sources for today’s Stop include: Bruce Frederick Cummings (Britannica), Cummings - Meaning of Life and Death (Lateral), Cummings (Spectator) and The Quotable Barbellion.
In fact, four of his five family members are autistic - only his father is, in his words, the ‘odd one out.’ Which is fine with McAnulty, as that means his dad (a conservationist) can ‘deconstruct the mysteries of not just the natural world but the human one too.’
All of these tracks mean a lot to me - and the opportunity to put them together was fun. Unfortunately, Moby’s album - Play (from which ‘Natural Blues’ is taken) - soon after its release became ubiquitous for the wrong reason: its tracks were everywhere, including adverts, commercials, etc. To me at the time, it was proof he’d ‘sold out’ to capitalism, and I’ve looked askance at the album since. However, 24 years on the quality of the work reveals itself again - and it’s definitely worth a listen.
Oh gosh, Bryan. Why didn't his doctor tell him himself? So sad - yet uplifting. Another great ride on the bus!